simple things unable me to write..

dear me
am trying to write my week 2day bt it seam that i dont know to write them
simple things
i guess its more difficult to express simplicity
weird
...this week ive been dreaming a life i would have never dreamed before.
it just happen after so many years i want to make thingssss
things completely different from wat i actually do
today ive wanted to take courses in therapeutic massage ,hairdressing,or even aesthetic care.
n finally too much at a time
n indeed the list is even longer....

fiioooof perhaps one day i will make them... but the most important i should not 4get what i want to do..

why

why
i wonder myself...
i decided not to talk my feelings
its better
better for whom
i guess for myself
talking what i need to say would lead to nowhere specially it seamed i have all the answers and yet nothing at all........
am confused
and fill with anger
for other reasons
why! why! why!
do the monster still following
still harassing me
and now not directly but indirectly
i just want to be free
i want to feel free with no monster around
an i wish sometimes am n evil only to get rid of it...
but its beyond me.
am tired
tired